Common Sense, Communication and the Perception of

I have learned some painful lessons about expectations and so called "common sense".


A guy in a Narcotics Anonymous meeting once told me “Expectations are premeditated resentments”.


I often think about that saying when I get a sense of expectation when dealing with people. Especially when I assume that people can read my mind or simply know what I want without me ever communicating it vocally. I guess I expect people around me to have magical powers, and yet they seem to fail me.


Of course I know that I am merely failing myself by assuming people will know what's going on in my mind and yet out of habit, I still do this and have to catch myself. I then correct this behaviour by communicating exactly what I'm thinking so that others are aware.

Through communicating I have noticed that other people have this trait and expectation of others as well. In all types of relationships or in everyday communication, we have an expectation that we never communicate and when the other person isn't receptive of our beliefs or thought processes. We all get mad at that so called ignorant person when they never know what's going on in the first place until we tell them.


In my own experience, common sense seems to be often misunderstood and has been cause for ridicule and judgement of others but what does it really mean?

What the heck is common sense anyhow?


Common sense is defined by Merriam-Webster as, "sound and prudent judgment based on a simple perception of the situation or facts."[1] Thus, "common sense" (in this view) equates to the knowledge and experience which most people already have, or which the person using the term believes that they do or should have. The Cambridge Dictionary defines it as, "the basic level of practical knowledge and judgment that we all need to help us live in a reasonable and safe way".[2]


So, in my understanding, it's the overall consensus and belief of anyone culture or living space. Now what if we're living in a country that is a cultural mosaic? Do we expect that people who are coming to this country from another part of the world with different beliefs, should simply have the so called “common sense” that we ourselves grew up with?


Heck even within Canada, from coast to coast, province to province. Common sense seems to differ and this is why we as people have got to get out of our own perceptions of what we believe to be undeniably right or wrong and accept that others can do different and have a different approach and still be right in what they do.


We live in a country where supposedly we are free to be whatever we make of ourselves, if we can figure out what that is. Since there are so many careers to pick from and switch to but that is a topic I'll talk about in the future.


My point is, get over yourselves and stop shoving your beliefs upon others and “expecting” that other people should just know your definition of right and wrong when it's you, who should step back and say. “Hey, maybe my way isn't the only way. Maybe others can keep doing what works for them”.


We are a demanding lot and yet even those who are aware of this, still have to catch and correct themselves. But we must, in order to have ourselves understood by the world and others around us. We must learn to vocalize our expectations and to also know when to be silent and accept others in their beliefs and their own common sense.

These are my thoughts and I know that I\m not always right but I do hope that someone will learn something from this, but I'm not gonna expect it.

 

References

1. ^ common sense, Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary.
2. ^ common sense, Cambridge Dictionaries Online.
3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_sense