The Trap of Self Help and the Road Back

So I'm reading the title of this blog and thinking that it sounds a bit harsh. Like I might be writing a blog to knock self help as a whole. To be honest, I am not. 

Being a huge fan of self help, I myself have utilised self help in the form of seeking advice from more experienced people, reading great books such as "How to win friend's and influence people" by Dale Carnegie, "The 7 habits of highly effective people" by Stephen R. Covey, books from history such as the Bible or writings by Confucius for example. I am a fan of anything written by Wayne Dyer. 

I walk a spiritual path rooted in my native culture but I am open to other ideas and ways of  other beliefs systems (I have not been perfect on my path but that keeps me learning). I have walked many adventurous paths and continue to find more paths as I aim be a better person both personally and professionally. 

I believe that if we aren't continuously growing and learning as people, we aren't truly living.

"The Trap" of Self Help that I refer to, can sneak up on you slowly. It starts with isolation, turning inward and focusing only on yourself which are some of the key components on one's path to self healing. For some people other symptom's arise. But in the end a key component is missing in their journey and ours.

The key component and part of the path back I speak about is our connection with community and each other. We get so caught up in ourselves while healing, we can sometimes become consumed. 

Consumed by obsession, consumed so much by your new cause that you will fight to the very ends of the earth for it. Consumed so much that we forget how to connect with those around us. Consumed so much that we forget how to even interact with each other.

What I am saying here is that by becoming too consumed by self help, you can cut yourself off from being to able to connect with others. And if you can't connect with others, why are you even working on yourself if not to be a great contributor to community in some way.

There is a balance here that I speak of and it doesn't involve self help on it's own, it involves a balance of helping one's self as well as being part of something bigger than self.

We are meant to connect with each other. We have travelled and lived for thousands of years together, and were raised by villages as a whole in many cultures. We draw energy from each other. Even an introvert can be part of, by simply being in the same room. Whether they choose to read quietly in the corner or not.

I will write in the future on the effects of people not being to connect with others, community and the mental health consequences that come with.

There is a line that I draw between both self and community and I aim to try and walk between being part of both, as well as being good to both. I have often leaned towards one side or the other, (mostly self), but none of us are perfect at this. Just better than others in our own way.