I am a bully. Or at least I was as a kid. Sometimes I
still catch myself in situations where aggressive traits of my
personality try to take over and I find myself controlling
situations where it is not my place to assert my authority.
I've gotten better over the years and this is always a work in
progress.
I'm happy that my own personal awareness and my spirit guides are around to catch myself in these moments so that I can step back and give others the chance to grow and evolve in their own personal development.
I've watched TV, read articles on the internet about bullying. We're all against it. Let's just say No!!! We now have a huge network of suicide intervention, counselling, mentors for those who are bullied, but what of the bullies? I'm not saying that the resources aren't out there, I'm just saying that I have yet to see any, and often find that help for those being bullied is the predominant topic when searching for such resources.
I remember as a kid being told to not bully. Just stop doing it. I would hear words like stop, no, behave. Confusing words for me at the time as I had so much pent up aggression. Although I did not have the proper communication skills at the time, I often wondered what I was supposed to do with this pent up energy. Nobody was redirecting me or showing me how to not bully other kids. Heck my own siblings who did not know any better at the time, often encouraged me to fight other kids and I loved making them happy.
Going into my teen years, I did take a more passive approach for a spell of time. But I often found that when passive, kids would try and bully me. I stood up for myself but the overall attitude seemed to be eat or be eaten and I soon was back to bullying others and even relished in it. I liked being popular. I liked that other kids were afraid of me. I liked the control. It wouldn't be until years later, that I would recognize the harm I did.
Now upon reflection and years of experience, being of service to others, and educating myself. I have come upon a realization. We all wish to belong. It can be on a team, in an office or even at home. There are many places that we as humans try and socially fit in. Often times when we find our niche whether positive or negative, we stick to the trend because we have won approval of our peers. Such as the fact that I bullied even more because of peer approval.
This level of group think has to be adjusted cause as much as bullying is not accepted in schools, kids relish in it at times because of the camaraderie, the acceptance of others. Heck even though I knew what it was like to be bullied myself at times by older kids. I still negated that fact and lost empathy when caught up in moments of trying to be cool in front of my peers.
Let's accept the fact that kids want to be accepted and loved. Not just by us parents but also by their peers. I ask this. Are we doing enough for them in terms of school programs and activities? Are we putting our foot down when they go against other resources where they can redirect their energy in a positive manner? How can we make bullying more socially uncool so that kids will want to seek other ways to socially fit in? What can we do insert change not only amongst those being bullied but in educating the bullies so that their actions can be towards a greater social good?
I feel bad for the victims of bullying and I'm not here to justify the actions of any bully, and I can't speak on why all bullies do as they do.
I'm just saying that we have to look at both sides of the coin and together solve this social issue as a community.
I'm not a healer, I'm just a man trying to make this world better. I feel bad for bullying others but I don't let the guilt rule me. I've just been trying to balance my karma ever since then in personal restitution by trying to help others in any capacity that I can.
PHILIP ARTHUR S. GRAY
Email: philipgray444@gmail.com
Twitter: @philipgray444
http://philipgray444.blogspot.ca/
ca.linkedin.com/pub/philip-gray/45/240/499/
I'm happy that my own personal awareness and my spirit guides are around to catch myself in these moments so that I can step back and give others the chance to grow and evolve in their own personal development.
I've watched TV, read articles on the internet about bullying. We're all against it. Let's just say No!!! We now have a huge network of suicide intervention, counselling, mentors for those who are bullied, but what of the bullies? I'm not saying that the resources aren't out there, I'm just saying that I have yet to see any, and often find that help for those being bullied is the predominant topic when searching for such resources.
I remember as a kid being told to not bully. Just stop doing it. I would hear words like stop, no, behave. Confusing words for me at the time as I had so much pent up aggression. Although I did not have the proper communication skills at the time, I often wondered what I was supposed to do with this pent up energy. Nobody was redirecting me or showing me how to not bully other kids. Heck my own siblings who did not know any better at the time, often encouraged me to fight other kids and I loved making them happy.
Going into my teen years, I did take a more passive approach for a spell of time. But I often found that when passive, kids would try and bully me. I stood up for myself but the overall attitude seemed to be eat or be eaten and I soon was back to bullying others and even relished in it. I liked being popular. I liked that other kids were afraid of me. I liked the control. It wouldn't be until years later, that I would recognize the harm I did.
Now upon reflection and years of experience, being of service to others, and educating myself. I have come upon a realization. We all wish to belong. It can be on a team, in an office or even at home. There are many places that we as humans try and socially fit in. Often times when we find our niche whether positive or negative, we stick to the trend because we have won approval of our peers. Such as the fact that I bullied even more because of peer approval.
This level of group think has to be adjusted cause as much as bullying is not accepted in schools, kids relish in it at times because of the camaraderie, the acceptance of others. Heck even though I knew what it was like to be bullied myself at times by older kids. I still negated that fact and lost empathy when caught up in moments of trying to be cool in front of my peers.
Let's accept the fact that kids want to be accepted and loved. Not just by us parents but also by their peers. I ask this. Are we doing enough for them in terms of school programs and activities? Are we putting our foot down when they go against other resources where they can redirect their energy in a positive manner? How can we make bullying more socially uncool so that kids will want to seek other ways to socially fit in? What can we do insert change not only amongst those being bullied but in educating the bullies so that their actions can be towards a greater social good?
I feel bad for the victims of bullying and I'm not here to justify the actions of any bully, and I can't speak on why all bullies do as they do.
I'm just saying that we have to look at both sides of the coin and together solve this social issue as a community.
I'm not a healer, I'm just a man trying to make this world better. I feel bad for bullying others but I don't let the guilt rule me. I've just been trying to balance my karma ever since then in personal restitution by trying to help others in any capacity that I can.
PHILIP ARTHUR S. GRAY
Email: philipgray444@gmail.com
Twitter: @philipgray444
http://philipgray444.blogspot.ca/
ca.linkedin.com/pub/philip-gray/45/240/499/
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